I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have fence marks all over my body
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
