she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
