Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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