he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish life had little blips of pornography
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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