haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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