Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Send help, water and tortillas.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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