best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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