you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
how does that bad decision feel?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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