I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
