i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
