I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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