Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This girl is more easily done than said...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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