I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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