She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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