I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
