Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
