I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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