So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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