definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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