Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
