There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
