porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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