This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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