Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
