Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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