How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize