I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you made out with another girl for some wings
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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