Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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