I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
