She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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