my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
no you cant smoke seaweed
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
