I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
