You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize