and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
it's like iHOP with fire
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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