have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
