College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize