My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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