Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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