you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
