please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Randomize
