She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So much rum. So many feels.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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