Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
