Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
