So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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