i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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