im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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