Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
