if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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