btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
