is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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