3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...