And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
