wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
