just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And then my night got REAL pukey
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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