the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
