A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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