Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
