No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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