I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think I have vodka in my lungs
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
