He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
